Kiss is artform
by Crejzi
Summary: Production company I AM ON IT MYSELF - Crejzi - shows an educational lesson Kiss is artform. Take notes, lecture begins. Don t expect sex xP.


**A/N: I hope you enjoy this! :-D**

**A/N 2: What about my english now? :)**

* * *

"Santana? Do you have a minute ?"

"Sure, come on." Rachel stares embarassed at Santana´s lips.

"What is it? I've got leftovers from dinner?"

"Uhm ..."

"Tell me."

"Well..." Rachel shakes her head. "I've never kissed anyone and I need an advice how to do it... before I´ll kiss Quinn."

"All right. Come to me." Rachel went close to her and accidentally really blown her with breath. Santana deeply breathed.

"Okay. Your breath is in order. This is the basis." Santana stood behind Rachel and began giving her instructions.

"Stand up straight. Well. And your feet apart. Firstly, it increases the stability and also to better know if your partner didn´t like it..." Rachel followed the instructions.

"Well, on start, show me how you´ll kiss Quinn. To draw up a list of bad acts. And don´t worry, those kisses don´t count like first kiss." Santana has prepared a pencil and notepad. Rachel didn´t hesitate and try to kiss Santana. After a while horrified and very, very nasty silence, interrupted only sounds sipping, sucking, swallowing, and slap a falling notes, Santana leaned with twitch like you release the stopper from the bottle.

"Oh ... I understand your worries. But never mind, everyone kissing terrible first time." croaked with a face whiter than her notepad. Rachel took re-position and close her mouth to teacher. Then she stopped.

"I just don´t know." Santana nodded.

"Rachel, your way of kissing, it seems to me somewhat strange. We should go to it from the beginning." Rachel nodded enthusiastically and immediately took the position.

"So, release mimic muscles, lips and tongue," Santana said, looking at Rachel's tense facial expression. Rachel tried to fulfill the instructions and after release of the above groups of muscles her face transformed into the guise of supreme dork.

"Christ's feet." Santana said with a sigh.

"What?"

"Otherwise - shake with head to release them ... like a devil."

Rachel's glance brightened with understanding and from her mouth sounds babble accompanied by high-frequency head shaking from side to side.

"Let's go, get this over us." said Santana, watching eager expression that appeared on Rachel's face.

"So slowly approach your mouth to her -" Santana said, guiding her as the plane for landing.

"Ouch! God! When I said to **HER**, I mean mouth and damn it, give your man-hand away from my left breast!"

"Mouth? You didn´t say." Rachel said indignantly.

"Again and slowly - mouth to mouth. That's right," she muttered. "Gently touch her with your lips... **WHAT**? ... No, you idiot, there later!" She pulled Rachel up again, thinking of that when Quinn likes it when someone focuses attention on her chest, she will be very happy with Rachel.

"Sorry."

"Hmpf... yeah, so touch her lips with your lips and with your tongue fondle her **MOUTH** corner ...!"Santana said quickly, seeing Rachel approaching to her eye with a confused expression on her face. Repeated the scene again, this time Rachel passed.

"Well, when you gently carres her, she should slightly open lips. Then you put tongue inside." Rachel begin to tinker very enthusiastically.

"Rachel?" Finally, pulled away her and briefly breathing that throat experience. Santana slowly becoming desperate. "Another way. Imagine it´s all about training singing. There also don´t swing from c1 to g2, right?" This way was more closer Rachel´s understanding.

"Slowly, singing increasingly higher tones and again lower." advised teacher of this rather special vocal education.

"Those lower tones are the same." said Santana, when Rachel quickly pulled tongue from her throat.

"And you have to think that sometimes she needs to breathe." Santana added other advice. Rachel scratched behind the ear.

"She can´t breathe through nose?"

"No, if you don´t want her face panting as marathon runner before collapse."

"_Oh_."

"So. Now try it all over again and concentrate and especially remember - slowly and gently." Once again they went closer to each other. After a while, Santana thought with increasing amazement, that the girl maybe finally learned something. Rachel was with her performance also satisfied... Then the door opened and Quinn came on the scene.

"Hey, Santana, I need -" She stared at the passionately kissing couple, as if all angels materialized in front of her, dressed in hula-hula skirts while doing an Indian summoning rain ritual and God played at flute for them. There is turned on red alert in Rachel´s head and she immediately broke away from Santana. Her eyes met with Quinn´s.

"Shit..." Santana muttered.

"Uhm ..." Rachel mumbled, frantically wondering how to explain her tongue in the Quinn's best friend mouth. Santana finally dawned redemptive idea.

**"Do you wanna to join us, babe?"**


End file.
